Tips for Beautiful Skin

I know alot of people are out there looking for good skin or the perfect body. Well here are some tips for beautiful skin...

1- To remove eye wrinkles:"take 2 sardines and place under each eye and leave for 10-15 minutes or longer, you can place them on the eye lids to reduce the wrinkles and tighten skin."... yuck!

2- For Baggy eyes: "Got baggy eyes? Dab some Preparation H hemorrhoid cream on the bags and watch them shrink". I would love to know what the longer term effects and health consequences on your skin are?!?

3- Smooth skin: "This lady discovered that Hellmans Mayonnaise works great for facials when applied every night for 30 minutes before washing face". How a bout Miracle Whip? BLT anyone?

4- For silky smooth hands: "Pour a spoonful of homey into the palm of your hand and add a spoon of sugar now massage the mixture in your hands for 10 minutes. Rinse. Sounds weird but it works, then add lotion to your hands...". Seriously, is it the honey or the freekin' lotion you add at the end?

5- Beauty skin bath: "The best treatment is to sit in a goat's milk bath for 30 minutes and not rinse afterwards". Ok then, where did I leave those goats?... "here little goaty goaty..."